The rules are different if you are a female executive, especially in a male-dominated environment.
While speaking at the 10th Advancing Women in Pharma Leaders conference in Orange County last week, I was inspired by the powerful women who overcame the obstacles so often present for female leaders in the workplace. At some point, we have all been asked to be softer (or stronger), work harder, be less direct, less intimidating, less nurturing, and less of what makes us… us.
When I entered the executive ranks as a young pup, I was told to take minutes, get the lunch order, and to be the one to make copies in a room full of capable men. I am a collaborative leader and have no problem doing any of those tasks if needed. However, after a while, I started to forget what I had brought to the table in the first place, and it had nothing to do with taking notes or getting lunch.
With the help of my mentor, I learned how to stand my ground, as a strong female, without being an arrogant prick. Below are some of the lessons learned and what I needed to stop doing so that I could amplify my presence at work.
What every female leader must STOP doing at work
- Do not volunteer to take notes. Instead, offer a rotation system in which every executive takes a turn taking notes. Remember that when you take notes, you are paying attention to capturing the discussions of the meeting instead of being an active participant in shaping the decisions that are actually being made.
- Do not organize lunch. Unless the meeting is in your city and you are the host, you don’t need to manage your co-workers’ mealtimes.
- Eradicate the word “JUST” from your vocabulary. You’re not “JUST a mom,” “JUST asking a question,” or “JUST sharing your thoughts.” You matter; what you do matters! When you say “JUST,” you minimize yourself and the impact of your work. Today is a good day to stop using “JUST.”
- Eradicate the unnecessary apologies. Saying “I’m Sorry” before you speak, offer your opinion, or disagree doesn’t cut it. Save these words for when you need to apologize.
Do not say sorry when:
- You are running late because your admin accidentally booked back-to-back meetings
- You have to use the bathroom
- You give constructive feedback
- You offer a different point of view
And finally, don’t assume others are smarter than you. You are in the room for a reason. Own it and honor the person who thought you belonged there.
None of this is new. You have heard it before. I hope today is the day you say enough is enough. Every female leader I know gets into these situations occasionally (me included). However, falling into these traps does not serve you or anyone around you. Avoid these all-too-common pitfalls and lean into your leadership, remembering that who you are and what you bring have earned you that seat at the table.
With love,
Mari Carmen
