Ready to turn your influence up a notch?
As someone who’s spent decades honing these skills (and yes, sometimes failing spectacularly), I’m excited to share what I’ve learned about the sacred art of persuasion – where fear takes a backseat, and your power thrives!
Tip #1: Recognize Persuasion is Sacred Work
I used to think persuasion was about pushing my agenda. Boy, was I wrong! Here’s how to shift that belief:
1. Shift Your Mindset:
Memorize this: Persuasion is an opportunity to positively influence and guide others. It’s not manipulation; it’s facilitation. (I still remind myself of this daily!)
2. Align YOUR Values:
Let your core values—maybe honesty and empathy—drive your persuasive efforts. Nothing else should drive you. This will make you more authentic and less intimidating. People can smell inauthenticity a mile away.
3. Start Small:
Practice persuasion in everyday situations with the mindset that you’re offering something valuable (because you are!). I started at home, persuading my kids to ditch cow’s milk – if I can do that, you can persuade anyone!
Tip #2: Your Mission – Align Interests and Master the Art of Moving Others into Action
This one took me years to figure out. Here’s how you can fast-track your learning:
1. Understand Their Needs:
Before you persuade anybody, aim to understand their interests, concerns, and motivations. I once lost a major deal because I was so focused on my pitch that I forgot to listen. Don’t make my mistake!
2. Find Common Ground:
Identify where your goals align with theirs and position your message to highlight mutual benefits. It’s not about winning; it’s about creating a win-win.
3. Craft a Compelling Message:
Use clear, direct language to connect their interests with the action you want them to take. Remember our last blog? Clarity is your superpower!
Tip #3: Actively Seek Common Ground in Conversations
This is where the rubber meets the road.
1. Listen Intently:
Pay attention to what others say (do not multitask!). I once missed a crucial point in a negotiation because I was thinking about my next brilliant comment. Don’t be like past me.
2. Acknowledge Differences:
There will be differing perspectives. Don’t ignore these – they’re intel to help you move the conversation toward areas of agreement. Embracing differences has led to some of my most innovative solutions.
3. Bridge the Gap:
Always build rapport and bring collaborative energy. Also, you must always be building rapport. Yes, I said it twice because it’s that important. I’ve seen deals made and broken based solely on the strength of the relationship.
Persuasion isn’t about being the loudest in the room (a lesson I learned the hard way). It’s about connecting, understanding, and guiding. It’s a skill that’s taken me 30+ years to hone.
Your challenge: Pick one of these tips, take a deep breath and begin practicing it this week. Then come back and tell me how it went.
I’m rooting for you!
With love, Mari Carmen
