It’s something most people don’t want to confront in their personal lives, so it stands to reason they would never consider it a positive trait in the workplace. Also, most of the media we’ve been raised on shows it as a weakness, or for comic relief. What is it? The secret leadership trait for a healthier workplace? It’s vulnerability.
I decided to look up a few synonyms for the word ‘vulnerable’ to use in this blog. I saw the ones I was expecting: defenseless, exposed, unsafe, weak, unguarded, unprotected, etc. and also found a few that got to the heart of what I want to talk about. Words like: accessible, ready, sensitive and tender.
Which set of words do you identify with vulnerability? If you’re like most people, it’s going to be the first and maybe this is why we’re faced with things like a 50% divorce rate in the United States. As a culture, we simply don’t embrace the idea of vulnerability.
The idea of vulnerability in the workplace as a good thing has been gaining a little bit of traction in recent years. One of the prominent voices has been Dr. Robert Firestone, who has written such books as Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice and Beyond Death Anxiety.
“When we’re vulnerable, it simply means that we’re capable of pursuing our goals, wants, and intentions, and we’re able to deal with the consequences on a feeling level. And that includes a variety of feelings, some of which are frightening, some of which are very joyful and exciting – it’s a wide range of experience.” Firestone said in a 2012 interview with Psychology Today. “So we’re not trying to protect against feeling. What I’m saying is that you can afford to feel, and in a feeling state, you’re better able to effectively cope with your life.”
I have experienced more business publications opening up to the idea of vulnerability in a work environment.
I love this quote from Angela Kambouris, CEO of her own consultancy firm, from an article she wrote for Entrepreneur.com in 2018:
“Vulnerability is a power tool in an emotionally intelligent leader’s toolkit. Courageous leaders leverage their ‘woundedness’ into genuine connections, innovation and learning. They embrace moments of vulnerability by acknowledging their current state, taking responsibility for their emotions and asking for help.”
There’s a word for hiding our vulnerabilities: overcompensation. Whether it’s on the golf course or in the boardroom, I’m sure you can think of those times when people have gone completely overboard to hide their vulnerabilities.
I have been sitting in that boardroom, watching a person trying to put on a magic act to hide their vulnerabilities. There’s diversion, illusion, talking about things that aren’t important and a desire to send everybody home happy without realizing how the trick is done.
Doesn’t that sound exhausting and vaguely deceitful? What would have been the harm in saying, “I’m not as well-versed in this topic as I’d like to be. Is there somebody who could give me a hand or be the devil’s advocate during this discussion?”
For leaders debating sharing their vulnerability, Kambouris says: “When you open the door to understanding vulnerability you are taking the first step toward ownership of your emotions and creating environments for growth and learning. A leader acknowledging ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I was wrong’ fosters an environment of imperfection. The gifts are in a leader’s ability to put themselves on the line in a way that recognizes you don’t need to have all the answers, and together we can create a solution.”
We’re not machines and I hope we never will be. Our vulnerability is what makes us human, even at work, and that’s a good thing.
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