Do your one-on-ones (1:1s) with direct reports feel unproductive or stale?
Here are some telltale signs your 1:1s might need a makeover:
1. You Dread the Meeting
If the thought of another 1:1 has you reaching for the cancel button, it’s time to rethink your approach.
Example: Sarah, a senior marketing director, felt disconnected from her team and dreaded her 1:1s.
Her new approach shifted to using a shared document in which she and her direct report, Alex, jotted down key topics they wanted to discuss throughout the week.
This simple shift created meaningful and productive conversations.
Tip: Create a weekly shared agenda document. It gives both parties a sense of ownership and purpose.
2. Your Meeting Always Runs Over Time
If your 1:1s regularly spill over, do not add more time. You’re likely diving too deep or getting sidetracked.
Identify topics that need a more detailed discussion and save them for a separate meeting. Stick to the shared agenda you created on #1 to keep it on track.
Example: John, a creative director, found his 1:1s ran way too long. He was getting bogged down in minor details.
His new approach? He and his team member, Lisa, set a timer for each topic on their agenda. If they need more time, they schedule a follow-up meeting to dive deeper.
Tip: Use a timer for each agenda item to ensure you stay on track.
3. You Struggle to Fill the Time
Conversely, if you’re scrambling to find things to talk about, it’s time to dig deeper. Go beyond surface-level updates and prompt more meaningful conversations.
Example: Emma, an HR leader, used to find her one-on-ones with her employee, Raj, stalling after the first 10 minutes.
Sara’s new approach? Asking questions like, “What was a highlight of your week?” or “Is there a decision you’ve made recently that you’d like to discuss?”
Tip: Prepare open-ended questions in advance and ask about highlights, decisions, challenges, and potential new projects.
4. You Feel Drained After Every Meeting
When 1:1s are used as venting sessions, it’s draining and signals it’s time to manage emotional boundaries.
Example: Mike, a project manager, was exhausted after his 1:1s with his team member, Laura, who used the time to vent.
Mike’s new approach? He embraced Laura’s frustrations and then guided the conversation toward finding solutions. He’d say, “I hear you’re frustrated about the project timeline. What can we do to address these issues and move forward?” This approach transformed the 1:1s into problem-solving sessions.
Tip: Allowing space for sharing emotions is important and then encourages others to focus on actionable steps and problem-solving.
Setting clear agendas, managing your time wisely, prompting deeper conversations, and focusing on solutions create a meeting environment that you and your direct reports will value.
YOU have got this!
With love, Mari Carmen
