You know the feeling—the frustration of being stuck in a loop of resistance from your team or, worse, your peers!
Those moments when you’re met with hesitation or pushback leave you wondering…
“Why are they dragging their feet on new ideas?”
“Why can’t they just trust me?”
“Why are they so resistant to change?”
There’s a simple yet often overlooked way to turn the tide and get others on board.
Ready?
Focus on their interests instead of just your own. Yes, their interests.
How?
Asking WHAT questions, not WHY questions.
Two months ago, I proposed an exciting new project to my team.
But instead of the enthusiastic response I was expecting, they seemed hesitant, doubtful, not on board. (Cue my stomach knots.)
However, I’ve learned a thing or two about dealing with resistance, so I decided to walk my talk and dig deeper.
Instead of bombarding them with WHY questions like, “Why can’t you just support me for once?” or “Why are you so resistant to change?” (like the child in me wanted…)
I asked open-ended WHAT questions.
Questions like:
- “What concerns do you have about the project?”
- “What adjustments do you suggest we make to move forward?”
- “What obstacles do you foresee that might prevent successful implementation?”
And you know what?
It worked.
It turns out they were worried about their workload.
So, by putting the ball in their court and letting them tell me what was bothering them, we could re-prioritize a few items, and off we went.
Persuading others isn’t about convincing them of what you want—it’s about bringing them on board. And asking WHAT questions is a surefire way to do just that.
Still not convinced? Let’s dive into a few more examples:
1. In a Team Meeting: Instead of asking, “Why is this idea being met with resistance?” try asking, “What aspects of this proposal do you find challenging?”
2. During a Performance Review: Instead of asking, “Why do you think you’re struggling in this area?” try asking, “What specific obstacles are preventing you from reaching your goals?”
3. When Pitching a New Idea to The Board: Instead of asking, “Why are you hesitant to move forward with this plan?” try asking, “What additional information do you need to feel confident in this decision?”
See the difference?
By reframing your questions and focusing on the WHAT instead of the WHY, you’re inviting collaboration and opening the door to meaningful dialogue.
So, the next time you’re met with resistance, take a deep breath and remember: it’s not about convincing, it’s about understanding.
With love,
Mari Carmen
P.S. Mastering the art of persuasion is indispensable, especially when implementing new approaches in your professional career. If you’re eager to amplify your influence, get a copy of the Ultimate Persuasion Blueprint – it’s my free guide crafted to refine your persuasion techniques and promote a more seamless workplace dynamic.
