Meet Sarah, one of my fiercest clients. A powerhouse in her field, with a passion and dedication that surpasses the norm.
Sarah prided herself on her intensity. She strived to do what she believed was right and poured her heart into her work.
However, the day I shared her leader assimilation feedback, her perception of herself was shattered.
Way too emotional,
lacking self control,
controlling,
disruptive,
and with zero personal life.
Devastated doesn’t even begin to describe how she felt.
Facing the Feedback: A Gut-Wrenching Moment
Learning that others saw her in such a different light rocked Sarah to her core. It was like standing in front of a shattered mirror, trying to piece together a reflection she didn’t recognize.
But amidst the pain, we both knew there was a beautiful opportunity for growth.
Step 1: Embracing the Feedback
Instead of burying her head in the sand, Sarah chose to confront the feedback head-on.
After allowing herself to feel the initial sting together, we looked at the feedback as if it were about someone else, asking the tough questions:
What if even 7% of it were true?
What actions could she take to change this perception?
What else can she do without changing who she really is?
(Notice no “WHY” questions here.)
Step 2: Opening Up to Change
It took a solid week to process the dichotomy, but Sarah didn’t stop there.
She reached out to trusted colleagues with an open heart, asking for honest feedback and promising not to get defensive.
She listened intently to what they had to say, jotting down their words without interruption, sometimes in tears.
Step 3: Owning Up to Mistakes
Sarah knew she had to acknowledge any misunderstandings or perceived misbehavior.
She apologized where needed, and her efforts were received with open arms.
Step 4: Seeking Guidance and Support
Sarah chose not to navigate this journey alone.
She sought my support, support from her manager and HR, tapping into talent development tools to aid her growth.
With all this guidance, we charted a path forward, tracking her progress every step of the way.
Sarah was determined to shine, just like she thought she was doing.
She self-reflected on what it meant to be passionate and fierce and identified what her team/organization really needed from her.
Without changing who she was at her core, Sarah transformed her perception from a tumultuous sea of doubt to a leader who showed resilience and growth.
Today Sarah is still intense and passionate.
She is thriving as a leader and fully understood by those who matter in her organization.
If you ever find yourself grappling with a negative perception of your work persona, remember to embrace the feedback, even if it doesn’t feel true to you.
You don’t need to change who you are.
You’ve got this!
With love,
Mari Carmen
P.S. Ready to turn feedback into fuel for growth? Book a call with me here to explore how coaching can empower you to thrive in the face of tough feedback.
