It’s something most people don’t want to confront in their personal lives, so it stands to reason they would never consider it a positive trait in the workplace. Also, most of the media we’ve been raised on shows it as a weakness, or for comic relief. What is it?
The real secret to healthy leadership is vulnerability.
When I looked for synonyms for the word ‘vulnerable’ I saw the usual ones: defenseless, exposed, unsafe, weak, unguarded, unprotected. And I also found a few that surprised me. Words like: accessible, ready, sensitive and tender.
Which set of words do you identify with vulnerability? If you’re like most people, it’s going to be the first set. Corporate cultures just don’t embrace the idea of vulnerability.
However, the idea of vulnerability in the workplace as a good thing has been gaining traction in recent years. One of the prominent voices has been Dr. Robert Firestone, who has written such books as Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice and Beyond Death Anxiety.
“When we’re vulnerable, it simply means that we’re capable of pursuing our goals, wants, and intentions, and we’re able to deal with the consequences on a feeling level. And that includes feelings which are frightening and others that are joyful and exciting.” Firestone said in a 2012 interview with Psychology Today. “So we’re not trying to protect against feeling. What I’m saying is that you can afford to feel, and in a feeling state, you’re better able to effectively cope with your life.”
I have experienced vulnerability as a powerful tool. More times than what I care to admit I have had to leverage my weaknesses into creativity, learning and innovation. I practice this level of openness with my team, with my private clients and even when I lead public events. The way to do this is by courageously embracing that moment of vulnerability, versus trying to hide it. It was scary at first but when I acknowledge my current state, take responsibility for my emotions and ask for help, I always end up in a better place. ALWAYS.
On the other hand, there’s an unhealthy approach to leadership that happens when we make an effort of hiding our vulnerabilities:
Overcompensation.
Whether it’s on the golf course, at the gym or in the zoom room, I’m sure you can think of those times when people have gone completely overboard to hide their vulnerabilities.
The other day I was on a video conference call, watching a top leader trying to put on a magic act to hide their vulnerabilities. There was diversion, illusion, talking about things that weren’t important and a desire to send everybody home happy without realizing how the trick is done.
Doesn’t that sound exhausting and vaguely deceitful? What would have been the harm in saying, “I’m not as well-versed in this topic as I’d like to be. Is there somebody who could give me a hand or be the devil’s advocate during this discussion?”
If you are debating sharing your vulnerability, think about the last time you heard someone acknowledging ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I was wrong.’ Doesn’t that foster an environment of immediate collaboration? The gift of vulnerability frees the leader (you) from having to have all the answers, and opens up the rest of the team to the concept of creating a solution, together.
We’re not machines and I hope we never will be. Our vulnerability is what makes us human, even at work, and that’s a good thing. Leadership requires various skills. One of which is effective persuasion. Get a copy of our FREE Persuasion Blueprint today. And if you want to discuss how can we work together, contact me to schedule a complimentary consultation.
