It’s difficult to inspire others if you are walking around with a belly full of anger.
I often ask my clients; what it would mean to live life with less anger, frustration and regret? What would it be like to have the emotional intelligence to pause before you react
Fundamentally, according to the Centre for Mental Health in the Workplace, anger is the belief that someone has harmed or threatens to harm us or someone we care about. Harm in the workplace refers not only to physical harm, but also to various types of psychological or social harm, such as hurting our pride or attacking our reputation.
Almost 9 percent of American adults — or about 22 million people — have a history of impulsive angry behavior according to a study published in the journal Behavioral Sciences & the Law.
Anger can be healthy at times but resorting to anger to deal with everyday situation is reactive and shows we have not learned how to understand and deal with our emotions. Anger is not an involuntary emotion although it can feel that way sometimes, but you can regulate it.
Instead of getting into uncomfortable situations, making others feel humiliated or angry right back at you, or getting to the point you say something you end up regretting, we can identify what triggers the angry response and figure out how to deal with it.
Making the commitment to change
The formula is simple, but it requires a genuine commitment and desire to regain control of what’s controlling you. It’s common sense, but not common practice. Are you ready for change?
I know it takes commitment because I was that leader, that mom, that spouse who was quick to anger. Don’t get me wrong, anger at injustices in the world is a good driver, especially if you are ready to do something about it. Anger with those around you? Not so much. Anger used to fuel me and gave a false sense of control.
The result was never, ever a good one. Never.
What’s really going on?
Increase your awareness and identify your triggers.
The next time you feel your blood pressure rising, regardless of its intensity, pause. Pause for at least 3 seconds to check-in and try to identify what’s the real emotion driving the anger.
Is it fear? Frustration? Could it be sadness or disappointment? Can you identify the real emotion you are trying to shy away from?
At first, it may be hard to notice anything but the anger. It comes on so fast! If that’s the case, start by exploring your thoughts. Keep in mind the shift from fear, frustration or sadness into anger happens fast and sometimes you don’t even realize it. It might take several attempts until you learn to control it before it controls you.
By identifying the triggering emotion (sadness, frustration or fear), you will be able to choose a more suitable course of action.
Once you have, lowering your anger volume and actively cultivating inner peace will become easier.
It takes practice, commitment and a true desire to be a person that inspires others rather than a person that pisses people off. Who do you want to be?
Do you have mindsets that are interfering with your own success? If you are ready, contact me to schedule a conversation that could change your thought life at http://maricarmenpizarro.com/contact-mari-carmen/
