Are you a leader who feels your message is not being heard? There is a more effective approach to leadership communication, and this article offers some ways to shift the way you communicate.
If I could wave a magic wand and remove one phrase from everybody’s professional life it would be, “I’m sorry, but…”
“I’m sorry, but I’ll need you to re-do this report.s report.”
“I’m sorry, but here’s how I feel about this strategy.”
As a leader, you are required to make demands, give orders, tell others what to do and strive for excellence. Opening your requests with “I’m sorry” will not cut it. In doing so, you soften your message and often others don’t even hear it.
Here’s the wrong way to convey a message: “I’m so sorry, but I think maybe it would be better if you attend to your emails after our team meeting is over.”
A confident leader (female or male) will say: “Constantly checking your email during our team meetings creates unnecessary distractions. I would like for you to stop.”
Using extra words, flowery language, or skirting around what we need to say clutters your message.
Clear out the Clutter!
When we clutter our message, we soften our statement by choosing too many words and the wrong words.
Here are a few minimizing phrases you should nix from your vocabulary:
Cluttered:
“Could you do me a favor? Only if you can, I know you are busy. It’s ok if you say no…”
Clean:
“Could you please do xxx for me?”
Cluttered:
“I totally get where you’re coming from, and I really want to be respectful, but there is a chance that what you are proposing may not meet all the necessary requirements…”
Clean:
“Have you considered this other alternative?”
Cluttered in a meeting:
“I was just wondering if there was any way we could…. Only if it makes sense to everybody. I don’t want to impose, but…”
Clean:
“I hear you. Have you guys thought about this other path to action …?”
What is it that we want?
Phrases like the cluttered ones above dilute your message. When the message is cluttered, we weaken our voice. We do this to ourselves.
Ask for what you want and say what you mean without the clutter.
You don’t need to apologize for being direct. Neither do you want to dilute your message with twice as many words.
When we ask for what we want and say what we really mean, we can be authentic, feminine, sexy, motherly, caring and nurturing. Saying what you mean will translate into being heard and understood.
Not everyone will be an instant fan of the new direct you. When women speak without clutter, some will be uncomfortable, especially other women.
However, the alternative is not effective, isn’t it more important to get our point across?
Any powerful woman will tell you that clear and direct communication is fundamental to being a successful leader.
Own it! Who knows, this might be one of the small steps needed towards closing the damn gender gap once and for all.
Are you ready to step up your leadership influence? If you are ready, contact me to schedule a complimentary consultation at http://maricarmenpizarro.com/contact-mari-carmen/
