I am going to venture and say that like many of you, I’ve seen, known about and experienced different levels of sexual harassment – and a great fare of gender bias – in and out of the workplace.
Prior to striking out on my own, I spent many years working as an HR executive for some of the world’s largest multinational companies. And while I didn’t have to deal with felony-level issues of sexual assault I was perplexed by the predictability of how lesser-level offenses were handled and with the culture of silence and poor decision-making surrounding each case.
That “culture of silence” surrounding sexual harassment in the workplace was incredibly frustrating, it was as if nobody cared; not even the victim. It still makes me lose my marbles today!
There is a systematic acceptance of all types of harassment that has been adhered to by everybody involved: the accuser, the victim, management, ownership, and co-workers. The way many organizations (including government and within politics) handle a case has to do with how much people respect the accuser, who the CEO believed and, of course, the lawyers. It didn’t matter if there was credible evidence or if an accuser had nothing. Often the job of the lawyers is to buy everyone’s silence.
Money talks in so many ways.
How can we change this?
The only way to turn this nonsense around is by joining forces (good women and good men) and taking action by changing our behavior.
Company culture, family culture, business culture is all birthed from our behavior.
Change the behavior = Change the culture
One behavior that must go is the act of tolerance. Tolerating even lesser levels of harassment and allowing bribery to take place perpetuates the issue. Whatever is happening must be addressed with courage instead of pushed in the background behind closed doors with hushed conversations.
So, how do WE all work together to end a culture of silence surrounding sexual harassment in the workplace and achieve Real Change?
1. Create Awareness. Discuss it. At the office and at home. Encourage conversations, especially among young people. Today’s high school student is tomorrow’s sales manager. Conversations must define what is acceptable behavior and what is not so that both young women and young men are clear on how to proceed.
2. Recognize sexual harassment is common. Unfortunately, harassment and gender bias occur in every professional business sector and have been occurring for a long time (it happens among women, and it also affects men). Many of us came of age at a time when women were seen mostly in subordinate professional roles. Even further, some young men and women are entering the workforce with antiquated gender views passed down from generations before them.
3. Call it out. Talk to the gal who “may have meant nothing” when she mentioned how sexy one of the actors from Game of Thrones is. Let her know that not everybody wants to hear it and, in the workplace, if somebody doesn’t want to hear it, nobody should hear it.
4. Be careful of boss/employee romantic relationships. I’ve seen boss/employee relationships end in happy marriages, and I’ve seen the opposite occur destroying everyone involved. What I’ve never seen is the continuity of power in the professional relationship remain unchanged. It’s not the best idea to date someone you’re in charge of and just as dangerous to date a person who has some control over your professional destiny.
5. Create an Environment of Support. A culture of silence evolved in part as a way to protect the accused but also because the accusers don’t feel safe to come forward. Most victims are ashamed of what happened on a personal level and afraid for their professional future. If they know that they will be supported before anything ever happens, it will go a long way to creating a harassment-free workplace.
6. Stay away from alcohol. This is a form of prevention. I have witnessed way too many times where two people thought they were on the same page with how a night was unfolding, but when both sobered up, they saw things differently. Even if the two parties can agree to disagree and try to move on professionally, things never return to normal. Alcohol impairs people’s judgment. Don’t drink at work events.
7. Be Courageous and Speak up! Let the person who is putting you in an awkward or uncomfortable situation know about it at the moment. Yes, right when it’s occurring. They may be unaware of how you feel, and chances are he or she will address the situation immediately and stop. If not, then you should feel confident to deescalate the situation and garner the proper protocol and support to end it.
A culture of silence is toxic. It affects both sides, it doesn’t remedy or deter the issue and it creates resentment. It’s like putting a Band-Aid on a broken arm; it never works.
If you are ready to improve your leadership or team dynamics, let’s talk. Contact us to schedule a complimentary consultation at http://maricarmenpizarro.com/contact-mari-carmen/
